Celestial Chuckler Gifts

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

"This is the 'fashionably late' line."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"I can't believe how soon they got me back on my feet after the operation..."

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'ts good we don't have to make a living up here. I sold life insurance.'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

'They've come up with something called 'Daylight Saving Time,' and I'm darned if I can understand it.'

'I found a distant, frozen chunk of ice - I think I'll name it after you.'

'We NEVER let bygones be bygones!'

'Such a shame...he had everything coming his way. Too bad he didn't notice he was in the wrong lane.'

'My horoscope said I'd have a heavenly day.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

Various Birds of Pray.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Keyboard in Heaven

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

'Sorry, I already have a Comet!'

"The fact is, I wasn't thoroughly vetted."