Spiritual Chuckler Gifts

Various Birds of Pray.

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

2pm meet your Creator

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

I am one with stupid.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"...lettuce pray."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

Missing Parsons.

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."