Spiritual Chuckler Gifts

Various Birds of Pray.

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

2pm meet your Creator

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

I am one with stupid.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

The Big Four debate banking ethics

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

Sunday School. Strange --- Apples were forbidden, but apparently fried foods were okay.

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

He's very defensive about his personal space.