Angelic Chuckler Gifts

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

'T.M.I.F.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

An amplified harp

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

"So much for eternal rest."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

Various Birds of Pray.

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'They come down here to smoke.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Late Night TV

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut