Angelic Amused Gifts

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'T.M.I.F.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Local News in Heaven

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"I still hate you."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Keyboard in Heaven

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Heavenly Take Out

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

'But how did you lose your harp?'

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."