Angelic Amused T-Shirts

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Local News in Heaven

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

An amplified harp

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"So much for eternal rest."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Keyboard in Heaven

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Late Night TV

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"Wait, there you are. I was spelling it wrong."

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."