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"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"So much for eternal rest."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

Heaven Has VIP

"I guess they really are permanent."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"You received your rewards on earth."