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"He's a real cloud potato."

'T.M.I.F.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

An amplified harp

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"I still hate you."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"So much for eternal rest."

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Heavenly Take Out

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"I chair the safety committee here, but since we're all dead, it's largely symbolic."

Late Night TV

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

Heaven Has VIP

"Man, what I wouldn't do for some Chinese take-out."

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"You received your rewards on earth."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"I guess they really are permanent."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Happens every time someone runs an electric can opener down there."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."