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"He's a real cloud potato."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"So much for eternal rest."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Late Night TV

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Showering angel has water bouncing off her halo.

Heaven Has VIP

"I guess they really are permanent."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

'Gee, I never expected to find this problem here too!'

"Nope, wrong password. You've got two more tries..."

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"You received your rewards on earth."