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"He can't see us from there, can he?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Local News in Heaven

Halo Frisbee.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Keyboard in Heaven

"Wanna trade guys? My guy annoys me already. I like your guy."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."

"Care to try the dip? It's posthummus."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

St Peter at gates of Heaven tells thuggish looking man: 'You're in the wrong place, alright. Let me guess: sat nav?'

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

Death of the pope.

"Oh, come on, you must want to be remembered for something!"

"Yup. This is heaven. Free beer and unlimited peanuts."

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."