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'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope,'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

An amplified harp

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'I would have been here sooner, if not for a wonderful, caring, competent doctor.'

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

"Say what you like about Hell, at least they have solid floors."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"So much for eternal rest."

"I'll pass on reincarnation. I'm glad that I don't live in the age of Trump!"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Let's see...yes, there is a wing upgrade for a soul patch.'

Late Night TV

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Death of the pope.

"I couldn't take it with me, so I came back."

"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."