Chanting Chuckler Gifts

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Various Birds of Pray.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"I keep getting into a flap."

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

Merry Christmas

"Let go and let Gary."

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"I can't believe how soon they got me back on my feet after the operation..."

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."