Animal Chuckler Gifts

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

"I keep getting into a flap."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

World of Cow.

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'For him, all food is fast food.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

The Electricians Giraffe Aid

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"That's where I do 'my business'."

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

'Bless you!'

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"