Chowhound Chuckler Gifts

'For him, all food is fast food.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

World of Cow.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

"That's where I do 'my business'."

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

'Bless you!'

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'Hello Shitty.'

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

"I keep getting into a flap."

Yoga - moooooooo.

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."