Sporty Chuckler Gifts

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Jesus Christ

'Fancy a swift half?'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'For him, all food is fast food.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'Hey buddy, what happened to your hair?'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

'I'll admit it, Hank, that's the worst backlash I have ever seen.'

'I say we rendition the snow to Guantanamo!'

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

'Psst, I know a shortcut.'

Yoga - moooooooo.

'Well, Phil, now do you know what recoil means?'

'You realize, of course, there are no easy answers.'

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

Dibs!

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

'I call my car 'Bonnie Tyler'. . . Nah - it keeps making funny rasping noises and is getting on a bit.'