Championship Chuckler Gifts

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

'And what can you bring to the party?'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

Chiropractor jokes.

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

'Step One...a pie chart is not dessert.'

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

'My credit report. Well - they said it's the lowest ever, but on the flip side I'll be in the Guinness World Record book.'

'What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?'

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"

Deer Hunting Season Ends Noon Today - 'You'd swear they know what time it is.'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

Supersonic comic: 'A funny thing happened on the way here...'

'Man! He got it again!'

'Well, Phil, now do you know what recoil means?'

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

What your acoustic guitar says about you

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'