Court Chuckler Gifts

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Tennis ball girl.

One way only.

'I got a suspended sentence.'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

"...And now show us what you said."

"The cookies are always stale."

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'My client doesn't wish to answer any more questions.'

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'Is your client qualified to give a urine sample.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

Keyboard in Heaven

"It's weeder's elbow."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

Lawyer Xing

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Your honor, when considering sentencing please note that my client drove a hybrid car that gets 80 MPG.'

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"I always chuckle over how truthful a witness becomes when I drag out my ol' crystal ball."

'He's out cold. Someone fetch a felt marker so I can draw something on his face.'

"For parking in a handicap space, I sentence you to 30 days in a wheelchair!'

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

"Tell me again the name of the professional basketball team you played for."

'There's a policeman here who thinks I shouldn't be talking on the cellphone while driving.'

'Since you can't afford an attorney, one will be inflated for you.'

'Yours Partner!'