Speedster Chuckler Gifts

'Fancy a swift half?'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Keyboard in Heaven

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Bless you!'

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

Yoga - moooooooo.

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

What your acoustic guitar says about you

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

'If this prescription doesn't help, go to Maggie Brown's party next week. There'll be a specialist there.'

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."