Comic Chuckler Gifts

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

'They come down here to smoke.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'He's our Spam expert!'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

"I keep getting into a flap."