Comic Chuckler Gifts

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

He's very defensive about his personal space.

'They come down here to smoke.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

'Bless you!'

"I keep getting into a flap."

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"