Cartoon Chucklers Gifts

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

'Bless you!'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"I keep getting into a flap."

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

"Some say the world will end in noodles, some say in rice."

'Do these burgers taste funny to you?'

"Let's just agree that they're dolphins, not sharks. I don't want to fall out with you."