Fear Chuckler Gifts

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

Keyboard in Heaven

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"Gesundheit!"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Bless you!'

Teacher to student with spots: 'Tests make you nervous and break out in what?'

'You were afraid for the drill?'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"He says masks are mandatory to enter. Should we try the other place instead?"

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'