Cocktail Chuckler Gifts

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

World of Cow.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

'Fancy a swift half?'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"It's weeder's elbow."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

'Time's up, chuckles.'