Gourmet Chuckler Gifts

'Curses on historical perspective.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"I might just get a pie."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"It was the food critics who gave our soup the two 'reallys'."

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

'My apologies for the delay - I'm afraid the microwave had broken so chef has to use the oven.'