Legacy Chuckler Gifts

Father Parrot: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Have you tried hitting the rewind button?"

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

'Curses on historical perspective.'

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."