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Father Parrot: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

Yoga - moooooooo.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Have you tried hitting the rewind button?"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"You call it 'Wordle?' Do you think it will catch on?"

'Curses on historical perspective.'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

Thank God for the misfits and dregs of society!

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'