Faithful Chuckler Gifts

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Jesus Christ

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

Various Birds of Pray.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Seats in all parts!"

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Missing Parsons.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

Church: Built by Guilt.