Faithful Chuckler Gifts

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Jesus Christ

'...and on that you have my word.'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Sunday School. Strange --- Apples were forbidden, but apparently fried foods were okay.

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Various Birds of Pray.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Missing Parsons.

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

"Seats in all parts!"

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

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