Gourmet Giggles Gifts

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

"You're right-they are sliders!"

"Leave room for sex."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

"Filet Mignon, medium irradiated."

A man ordering Haricot Mutton in a restaurant

"My bouche was not amused."

'This simply melts in the mouth. What is it?'

Man at the deli counter (reflected backwards in window) asks 'Got any Salami?' written backwards.

'Waiter? You're in my soup!'

'It wasn't going to be the night for Fusilli Marinara with the Lobster Newburg after all'

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

"I might just get a pie."

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."