Gourmet Giggle Seeker Gifts

"What would you serve with toast?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"I might just get a pie."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'The doctors and nurses all said he was the heaviest newborn they'd ever seen.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

Bishop has his robes stuck in his pants.

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'House wine?'