Gourmet Gigglers Gifts

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

"I might just get a pie."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Moo! OOM!

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"