Gastronomic Giggler Gifts

Man farting CH4 in a chemical laboratory

Chicken running out of restaurant, waiter: "Err, chickens off"

"Voila!! For the Lady, Seafood Linguine, and I believe Sir ordered the Chef's Surprise?"

House of Beans.

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"No fire ants for me. Spicy food gives me acid reflux."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

The Main Types of Cheese

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"I might just get a pie."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'It was this big. I swear'

Moo! OOM!

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."