Gluttonous Giggles Gifts

A spoiled boy eating dinner.

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I might just get a pie."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'It was this big. I swear'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'Would that be rare, or medium rare?'

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

"There's a caterpillar in my food."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

"Leave room for sex."

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

"I have four stomachs and one of them always seems to be hungry.''

Turkey Goes Into Dressing Room and Comes Out Cooked