Gluttony Enthusiast Gifts

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Join me for dinner?

Haute Chinese

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'Pass the grey stuff.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

Cut out and keep your own Chef

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

'It's an acquired taste!'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"