Gluttony Enthusiast Gifts

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Join me for dinner?

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

A restaurant with a "Main Dining Room" and a "Room for Dessert".

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"I'm told the items marked with happy faces are especially yummy."

'It's an acquired taste!'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."