Kitchen Chuckler Gifts

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Who wants to lick the swatters.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Hoopla!'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 8

"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"

'Bless you!'

"Dang!! Wrong hole."

Failed holiday idea: Utinsils.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

'I don't think he's taking this fight seriously enough.'

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"