Kitchen Chuckler Gifts

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

'Hoopla!'

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Kids! No watching Bobby Flay before Mommy cooks dinner!"

'Bless you!'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

'I don't think he's taking this fight seriously enough.'

'Curses on historical perspective.'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"