Caterpillar Chuckler Gifts

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

World of Cow.

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Keyboard in Heaven

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

'They come down here to smoke.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

'I wish you'd stay focused Simpson!'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"