Cloud Chuckler Gifts

Keyboard in Heaven

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"...lettuce pray."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"It's weeder's elbow."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

Missing Parsons.