Solar Chuckler Gifts

"Damnedest eclipse I'VE ever seen."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"If global warming is a left wing plot... it's a very good one."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

Keyboard in Heaven

He's very defensive about his personal space.

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

'What about change? Do you have any change in your pockets?'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

'Of course it's renewable -- you just throw more sticks on it!'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

'I'll admit it, Hank, that's the worst backlash I have ever seen.'

"Still fat."

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"Someday, son, because of global warming, all this will be your valuable beachfront estate."