Incantation Chucklers Gifts

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Various Birds of Pray.

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Seats in all parts!"

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"As it says in Matthew 26-40, 'So, you had not the strength to stay awake with me ONE hour?'"