Incantation Chucklers Pillows

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Various Birds of Pray.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"Seats in all parts!"

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Bless you!'