Silent Chuckler Gifts

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Jesus Christ

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Trappist talk show.

'...and on that you have my word.'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Good news - we've found your car.

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"When the boss said he could replace me with a trained monkey, I replied, prove it! Me and my big mouth."

"I keep getting into a flap."

"Still fat."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

Yoga - moooooooo.

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

"I can't believe how soon they got me back on my feet after the operation..."

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."