Silent Chuckler Pillows

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Jesus Christ

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Trappist talk show.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Good news - we've found your car.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"When the boss said he could replace me with a trained monkey, I replied, prove it! Me and my big mouth."

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"I keep getting into a flap."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"I can't believe how soon they got me back on my feet after the operation..."

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."