Commuter Chuckler Pillows

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

Lady waiting at Ealing Broadway station.

O!M!G!

"Excuse me. It must have been that upside down cake I ate at lunch."

"Would you hit all the buttons for me. I'm a practical joker but I haven't had my coffee."

Thank you for putting up with the driver's ranting.

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

'Have we found the 12.26 to Mossley?' (Railway/Train)

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Next Turd 8:35

Train Station Announcement

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

'It's only fair we stand,Doris-after all we do outlive them!'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'No,missus- I said 'move FARTHER down the bus'!'

'I read the handwriting on the wall but it's all advertising.'

'We have weapons of mass disruption.'

Park & Ride.

Bike Week

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

Things Women Never Say: 'Sorry I'm late boss. I was talking to my husband and he wouldn't stop listening.'

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

Honey I'm Home

Metrocard error messages

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

King Commute.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"