Snort Chuckler Pillows

Pandora's Change Purse...

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Keyboard in Heaven

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Gesundheit!"

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Bless you!'

"You have a very long fault line. That's why your hands are trembling."

"I keep getting into a flap."

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!