Computer Chuckler Pillows

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'He's our Spam expert!'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

New! Cell-U-Lite Tellaphone: 'Hmmm! There's something wrong here!'

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!"

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

'Do these burgers taste funny to you?'