Chemical Chuckler Pillows

'The chloride co. wants to merge with us. They think we can make salt together.'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"Mr. Stilz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask Kelley to ask Dawn to ask Lisa to tell you he'd like to see you in his office."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

Keyboard in Heaven

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'They come down here to smoke.'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'He's our Spam expert!'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Bless you!'

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet