Comedy Chuckler Pillows

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'He's our Spam expert!'

Fisherman buying fish on the way home...!

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

'Bless you!'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"No. I blew the interview when I sniffed the interviewer's behind."

New! Cell-U-Lite Tellaphone: 'Hmmm! There's something wrong here!'

An idle lap is the devil's workbench.

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'