Computer Chuckler Prints

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"The subwoofers really help."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'He's our Spam expert!'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"I keep forgetting. When do I cluck and when do I double-cluck?"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

'Bless you!'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

New! Cell-U-Lite Tellaphone: 'Hmmm! There's something wrong here!'

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!"

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Is it true that all cats are free thinkers? Yeah, we can't stand dogma.

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.