Celestial Chuckler T-Shirts

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

"Still fat."

"This is the 'fashionably late' line."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"I can't believe how soon they got me back on my feet after the operation..."

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings – How do I put it in silent mode?

'I'ts good we don't have to make a living up here. I sold life insurance.'

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

'They've come up with something called 'Daylight Saving Time,' and I'm darned if I can understand it.'

'I found a distant, frozen chunk of ice - I think I'll name it after you.'

'We NEVER let bygones be bygones!'

'Such a shame...he had everything coming his way. Too bad he didn't notice he was in the wrong lane.'

'My horoscope said I'd have a heavenly day.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Various Birds of Pray.

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

Keyboard in Heaven

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

'They come down here to smoke.'