Celestial Chuckles T-Shirts

"Look...the Pope's not stoppin' by for a little chit chat! He's here to admonish you and revoke your powers in the name of God!"

"I think I forgot to turn off the stove."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

"OMG, LOL!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Water is discovered on the moon....

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Shoe repair

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Heaven

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

Life on cloud 8

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

"Look - the FIRST EVER picture of a black hole!! What do you think?"

"Sometimes I miss a good smiting."

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Be sure to walk you Asteroid twice a day.

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

New Years Reolutions