Cosmic Chuckle Enthusiast T-Shirts

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

God Sneezes Out Creation

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Clown God

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

Mars Rover

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

First Contact

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

Asteroid Bennu

"That's want I call a meteor shower!"

UFO Society: Abducted for Lunch

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

'You've got a pretty nasty case of humans. Take two asteroids and call me in the morning. The side effects are rather unpleasant, but they only last a few million years, then you'll be as good a new!'

Galaxy line - leaving Milky Way - entering Andromeda

"I knew it!"