Cosmic Joke Aficionado T-Shirts

"Just sit tight, we're checking a couple things. . ."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

Clown God

"Not now, Oliver."

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"I'm so sorry I let you talk me into letting you take your pet along on this trip!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Black Hole Research Institute - Office only has IN tray - no OUT tray.

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"We've come all this way to destroy their planet only to find they're doing it themselves!!!"

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Sorry to bother you again but I forgot to ask you to fill out our service evaluation questionnaire."

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Wow! - String Theory must be true after all..!"

Cosmonaughty

Mars Rover

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

First Contact

"Does someone want to go on a space walk? Who wants to go on a space walk....?"

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.