Divine Chuckler T-Shirts

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"Let go and let Gary."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Various Birds of Pray.

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

Not much of a resume. Anything besides these 7 Deadly Sins?

'They come down here to smoke.'

He's very defensive about his personal space.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

"Still fat."

"I keep getting into a flap."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

Yoga - moooooooo.

'Alimony is like having to pay instalments on a car after you have written it off!'

"I can't believe how soon they got me back on my feet after the operation..."

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

'We NEVER let bygones be bygones!'