Divine Chucklers T-Shirts

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Lesbians for Christ

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Various Birds of Pray.

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow finally landed on the moon.

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Not much of a resume. Anything besides these 7 Deadly Sins?

He's very defensive about his personal space.

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Wow, that thing is bright! Glad we wore our sunglasses!"

"Or was it: 'Bubble, bubble, TOIL and trouble?'"

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

'I don't know. I woke up with it after preaching last weeks sermon...'

"Check it out. Nirvana. And on my phone, no less."

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

"Still fat."

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

Yoga - moooooooo.

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

'I'ts good we don't have to make a living up here. I sold life insurance.'

'We NEVER let bygones be bygones!'

"Let go and let Gary."

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."